“There is no such thing as bad people. We’re all just people who sometimes do bad things.”
Ryle Kincaid
Please note this review does contain spoilers.
‘It Ends With Us’ has been floating around the internet and particularly BookTok for a long while now and now with the movie out, more people have read the book. I was given the hardback, sprayed edges edition as a gift but I decided to leave reading it until the movie came out, in case I went to see it. However, I have not seen it yet as I write this.
What is ‘It Ends With Us’ about?
“It Ends with Us” by Colleen Hoover is a contemporary romance novel that delves into complex themes, including love, domestic abuse, and the impact of past trauma. The story follows Lily Bloom, a young woman who moves to Boston to start her own floral business. As she builds her new life, she encounters Ryle Kincaid, a successful neurosurgeon with whom she forms a passionate relationship. However, their relationship becomes complicated when Lily’s first love, Atlas Corrigan, reappears, stirring up unresolved feelings and memories from her past.
Who are the characters in ‘It Ends With Us’?
- Our protagonist is Lily Blossom Bloom. A cutesy name that reminds me of a Sim.
- Our main male character is Ryle Kincaid, a neurosurgeon who Lily meets one random night after her fathers funeral.
- His sister Alyssa and her husband Marshall and Lily’s mother are the three main background characters who show us how relationships that contain abuse affect your social environment.
- The other man of the story is Atlas, Lily’s friend from when she was a teenager, who she helps a lot and becomes her first boyfriend.
- The other main character in this book for some reason is Ellen Degeneres (something that really dates the book I think, given her fall from grace.) in the form of Lily’s “imaginary friend” that she writes to as a teenager. (Personally not a fan of her.)
What are the key themes and elements of ‘It Ends With Us’?
- Domestic Abuse: One of the central themes of “It Ends with Us” is domestic violence. The novel explores the cycle of abuse, showing how love and violence can coexist in a relationship and how difficult it is to break free from an abusive cycle. Hoover does not shy away from portraying the harsh realities of abuse, and she emphasises the emotional and psychological struggles of the victims through both Lily and her mother, showing that is a problem that has existed for years and how important it is for the cycle to end.
- Love and Relationships: The novel presents different facets of love, from the passionate and all-consuming relationship Lily has with Ryle to the enduring, supportive love she experienced with Atlas. There is also maternal love and friendship love, which I think are important to include too. To see how important it can be to have the right type of people supporting the main character. Through these relationships, Hoover examines how past experiences shape one’s perception of love and the choices they make in their relationships, both good and bad.
- Personal Growth and Empowerment: Lily’s journey is one of self-discovery and empowerment. As she navigates her complex feelings for Ryle and Atlas, she learns to prioritize her well-being and make decisions that are best for her future. The title, “It Ends with Us,” signifies her determination to break the cycle of abuse and make a better life for herself and those she cares about.
- Family and Forgiveness: The novel also touches on the role of family and forgiveness. Lily’s relationship with her parents, particularly her father, is strained due to the abuse she witnessed growing up and you also get to see the complexities of being a grown-up with a mother who had been abused and how that relationship changes once the abuser is gone. The story explores how these early experiences shape Lily’s choices and her capacity to forgive, not only others but also herself.
So what did I think of ‘It Ends With Us’?
I went into reading this knowing only a few things. The main character was called Lily Bloom and she owns a flower shop and that the story was not some romcom novel, it had talk of abuse within a relationship in it. And that there was some second man in the story and perhaps a baby?
Firstly, one thing I did like about ‘It Ends With Us’ is that it is written in the protagonist’s first person point of view. It makes everything feel more absorbing, terrifying, painful, heart-breaking but also sweet and exciting. Hearing her inner thoughts make this story far more absorbing because she thinks things through and explains out her actions. Secondly, I like the character of Lily. A woman with a dream she makes happen despite her difficult and sad upbringing. She explains her thoughts well and you can see that she is a person who admits her faults, even the dark, bad thoughts that many of us probably have but try to pretend we don’t. (For example, she admits to the moments where she feels like her father, or dislikes her mother. The suffocating type feeling of having a parent move to your city once you’re an adult which I believe many adults feel but dare not ever voice in such situations.)
When it comes to the protagonist, I did struggle at first with her name. Given the age of Lily at the start, 23, and the age and social references throughout there is no way the author nor the main character doesn’t know what the Sims is. The main character is a woman with the name Lily Blossom Bloom who likes flowers and gardening and being outside with her plants. She literally is a Sim and for the first few chapters I kept imagining her in Sim form. How there isn’t a nod to that in the book, I don’t know because it really is the most cliched name for a florist. Although, visualising her later on was quite easy thanks to the movie promo materials, all I kept imagining throughout this book was Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni.
It’s a story that really shows how difficult it is to know when to leave an abusive relationship. How blurred the lines are between accidents and real intentional harm. How difficult it is to tell if someone is manipulating us with their intelligence, good looks and charm or if what happened, actually happened. How difficult it can be to give up a lifestyle that you are so accustomed to especially i think when your partner earns more or has a high-powered, important career. There is a lot in this book about Ryle’s career but not as much as I would have liked about Lily’s, however, I think this works from her perspective as it shows how all-encompassing someone can be, where the vast majority of your thoughts are on them and their lives and needs instead of yourself and your own. I’m yet to read ‘It Begins With Us’ so I hope there is more focus on her joys, her business and herself in the second book.
For me, this was a quick read albeit an emotional rollercoaster. Over in a few hours, done in an afternoon. There are definitely some emotional moments or difficult to read moments which I can understand some people needing to put the book down, DNF or skip those pages. Personally, it doesn’t have the most graphic descriptions of violence i’ve ever read so I found it not too difficult to continue reading. However, there are a few profound moments of realisation in the book which I hadn’t been expecting really. I was truly only reading it to get it off my TBR list and to say i’ve read it. I didn’t expect the story to touch me emotionally in the way that it did, a few moments making me close the book to think, or even cry a little at how realistic some of those thoughts, feelings and moments were and how they linked with my own life.
One thing I wasn’t keen on was it was very obvious that this was going to be a woman caught between two men in her life. The first love and the first husband. I really don’t like stories where it’s always the boy you liked as a teenager and a man you meet later that are the only two romantic choices for the protagonist female. As if there isn’t some wonderful third option out there somewhere! (However, I think that is mostly because I didn’t have great boyfriends as a teenager nor a great partner in my 20’s, so this might be personal beef with the idea.)
There are also some very predictable moments in the book, which I suppose for some readers, offers some comfort for the coming pages but to me, it made it a much quicker almost slightly boring read in this sense. I am curious to see how the relationships develop in the second book, especially between Lily and her Mother, as it seems she now has somewhat of a newfound respect for her Mother after experiencing something similar. I think it’s a very sad nod to the idea that so many of us grow up in environment’s similar to Lily’s and we tell ourselves that will never be us, we will never be like our mothers, but sadly, things don’t always turn out that way.
I think my main gripe is with the ending. I truly believe a man like Ryle would not so easily relent in the way he does at the end of the book. Not so quickly accepting that defeat either, even though it has seemed somewhat inevitable for awhile. However, I will read the second one and see if that is the case as from reading the blurb, he doesn’t seem to give up so easily.
Some have said the book glorifies abuse and red-flagged-men but I don’t believe that at all. I think it shows how easy it is for love to consume you. How easy it is to fall for the wrong sort of person, especially when you are young (in their first conversation there are many red flags about Ryle, things he states quite clearly about himself and his views but to Lily and unfortunately many young women, these things are seen as either a challenge or something he’ll relent on once you’re in love and further down the line.) I also think there’s quite a few red flags about Atlas too, he is not the perfect other man in this story. (Still being obsessed by someone you haven’t seen in years, even if they did help you a lot as a kid… is a bit… red-flagged to me?)
Personally, I believe the story is one that should be told. Domestic violence is a very pressing issue in society and i’m glad I read this book. In my own personal history, I haven’t always been in the best of relationships or come from the most rosey of family backgrounds so there were definitely a few scenes in this book that were upsetting to read, drawing even tears or making me feel sad and desperate for her and in turn for real women surviving this sort of relationship.
My main gripe with the ‘It Ends With Us’ story is the marketing of it. Especially, the products created for it, the cover designs of the books and the movie. I don’t think this was the right book to get a journal made out of as promotional material, nor should there be a NAIL POLISH COLLECTION! What Hoover was thinking agreeing to that! (We all know, she saw dollar signs!) But at least she saw sense and cancelled the disgraceful colouring book. This story should not have been marketed with the light ‘wear your florals and grab your girlfriends’ vibe (a-la the Barbie movie?) it is not a feel good, summer romcom and I can see why many thought it was from the book cover design and the way the movie posters look. This book was gifted to me by a family member and when I was given it, i was told “Oh I liked the pretty cover, thought it would be a nice story”. (In fairness this older family member did not read the inner cover blurb!)
Would I recommend reading ‘It Ends With Us’?
Yes. I believe, if you feel you can handle the difficult topics of familial and relationship abuse, it is an important read. It made me sad for younger me who allowed myself to be in bad relationships and I can see how for the right women in the wrong situations, this book and maybe the movie, convinced them they deserved better. I also think it’s a story that men should read too.
If you go on Booktok e.t.c you will see many conflicting opinions about the author. I try to ignore these sorts of things when I try reading a new book. It’s my first ever Colleen Hoover book, and I will read the second one to finish this story but I don’t think i’ll be rushing out to read more of her books.
Buy your copy:
Get the duology of ‘It Ends With Us’ and ‘It Begins With Us’ here.
Get ‘It Ends With Us’ on Kindle.
